Thursday’s Thoughts…Holy Matrimony!!!

Our favorite newlyweds, Brad and Jennifer, came over to watch “Big Brother” with us last night.  As Ed and I sat  there listening to them talk–about “her hogging the bed” and “him turning the thermostat up and down“– it brought back early marriage memories of long ago, and got me to thinking about all of the adjustments of marriage!

Brad and Jennifer were discussing the problems of two people sleeping on a double bed.  I could totally relate!  It doesn’t take the “honeymoon” long to be over when it comes to sleeping arrangements.  When one person is used to having the entire bed, it’s an adjustment to learn to share–especially on a double bed!  It certainly didn’t take us long before we upgraded to a queen sized bed!

For the woman, there was the “ordeal” of giving up her maiden name, and having to get everything changed over to her new married name!  Add to that the problem of remembering the new last name!  It’s hard to break the old habit of writing that “maiden” name. (Just the other day, I wrote my daughter’s maiden name –and she’s been married for 10 years!)  Old habits die hard!

Then there’s the joy of finding your way around the kitchen!  Jennifer has been trying some new recipes, while practicing others.  Sometimes she will ask me how to cook something.  It’s hard for me to “tell” somebody how to cook something.  I cook without measuring or thinking, because over the years, it’s become an automatic function.  Of course, I still remember the days when it wasn’t–and we ate a lot of “less than perfect” meals, and Ed probably had a bottle of  Tums hidden away somewhere!

Of course, there is always the problem of figuring out how to handle the finances after marriage!  When Ed and I got married, I didn’t have a job, so there wasn’t any discussion about that–I didn’t have any money!  We opened a joint checking account, and the money that he earned was “our money”.  Ed paid the bills,  and kept the checkbook balanced. 

I couldn’t even write a check in the early years of our marriage because I didn’t have a driver’s license or any form of identification!  As time passed, I began working, got an identification badge, began writing checks, and eventually took over the duties of paying bills and balancing the checkbook.  I’m still doing it, after all these years.  It’s a job I’d happily relenquish. 

Sometimes, another marriage adjustment is   “sharing your space” with someone.  Ed and I didn’t have this particular issue, but it was an early issue with my daughter and her husband!   Our daughter owned her own place when she met her husband.  She had her home decorated in pretty “girly” things–like a canopy bed, and a pretty floral couch. 

Her husband is a “manly man”, he likes wrestling, John Deere tractors, trucks, and guns!  Brandy didn’t like “clutter”, so she didn’t have much in her house.  Clint loves “stuff” and brought a pile of it with him when he moved it!  As you can imagine,  the two of them had more than a few adjustments to make during the first year of marriage.  

Speaking of “space”, I remember one of mine and Ed’s first marital issues was about having “pets”.  I love cats!  Ed likes cats okay–as long as they are outside.  In the early days of our marriage, I was lonely, and I wanted a kitten to keep me company while Ed was at work.  We argued back and forth, and eventually I got my kitten, which turned out to be an inside/outside cat.  We’ve had many inside/outside cats over the years.  I’m happiest when they are inside, while Ed is happiest when they are outside!

Speaking of pets, I’ve had a laugh or two with Brad and Jennifer concerning their pets!  He had several cats, and she had “Nubie”, the dog, before they got married.  She likes dogs, while he prefers cats.  At first, the dog wouldn’t obey Brad, and “peed” on him every time he yelled at her.  Then, “Trouble”, the cat, actually bit Jennifer–and “pooped” on a pair of her pajama pants!  Trouble was the only female in Brad’s life for a while…perhaps she’s a bit jealous 🙂  Oh the joys of holy matrimony!

Published in: on July 28, 2011 at 10:48 am  Comments (5)  
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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. This is the sort of stuff the engaged tend not to think about but it is also the stuff of everyday life! Somehow we figure it out : )

  2. Way back when Terry and I got married, the church mandated that we go to “marriage counseling” before the wedding. We are talking about the Catholic church with the counseling done by a priest, who, of course, didn’t have a clue. I think humor is your best friend in marriage in general.

  3. Oh wow! The animals sound like they’ve been some of the worst newlywed trouble for them!

    I think bed adjustments were the worst for us. My husband used to be a mover and would roll around until he got settled and drive me crazy!

  4. I have some great crockpot recipes I could share.
    I started cooking when I was a young girl. By the time I married, I was making entire meals. I remember my .Dad working second shift and Mom working days, I was cooking a noon meal for him before he left for work. I even cooked for the pastor and the evangelist one summer revival. The only problem was I was used to cooking enough for at least 6 people. Quite a change to cook for 2.
    As to the bed, we had a double bed until our second child was born after 3 years or so and moved on to a king. Great decision. Now its hard to even sleep on a queen.
    As for as the thermostat, whoever is cold should just put on more clothing. These days, I tend to keep my house colder than most.
    I guess there are adjustments to make at the start of any marriage. The main thing is communication. Being able to talk things out without argument or blame.
    My husband wants to go to bed early. When he’s gone during the week, my bedtime is around 11:00. On the weekend, I go to bed with him at 10:00 and on Sunday night, at 9:00 since he has to get up so early. I can read while he sleeps and the light doesn’t bother him.
    My advice to the newlyweds is replace that small bed as soon as possible.
    Mama Bear

  5. Cute post. I forgot about all the things we have to adjust to when we are newlyweds. Love their pet stories. When we were separated after 10 years of marriage I didn’t even know how to write a check!

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