Sometimes Life Just Sucks…

Just two short years ago Brad and Jennifer became a couple.  I still remember the night of their first date when Brad called from the movies to ask us some trivial question about something the two of them had been discussing on their date…Brad’s funny that way.  It was mid-October of 2009.

first Christmas together

Our family met Jennifer for the first time on the night of our Halloween party.  Yes, Jennifer met her future in-laws while we were dressed as bottles of ketchup and mustard–and yet she married Brad anyway!  Go figure…

Jennifer was finishing up her training to become a registered nurse back then, and I recall there was some controversy about an exit exam or something like that.  I don’t recall all of the details, but I do recall that Jennifer’s mama went to the university and butted heads with the officials there!  Whatever she said worked, and the problem got solved.  Hell hath no fury like a mom whose child has been wronged!

Brad and Jennifer spent their first Christmas as a couple, enjoying the holidays with both sets of parents.  Nobody knew then that  it would be the last Christmas for Jennifer’s mom.

Early in the following year, Jennifer’s mom suffered some kind of “spell” and ended up in the hospital.  In retrospect, her family now believes her heart had stopped beating while she slept, but somehow the heart managed to jump start itself again.  Denise spent several days in the hospital, having tests run, but was later discharged without any clear answers as to what happened or why.

In the meantime, Jennifer had her yearly pap smear done, only to discover that she had suspicious cells present.  She underwent a procedure,  in hopes that it would remove all of cancerous cells, but the cells were too extensive, and surgery would need to be performed.  Jennifer’s doctor referred her to an oncologist who referred her to another doctor who specializes in a new type of cervical cancer surgery.  Jennifer was only 23 at this time.

While Jennifer was waiting for her new, experimental cervical surgery to be scheduled and performed, her mother unexpectedly passed away in July of 2010.  Sometime during the wee hours of the morning, while she slept, Denise’s heart stopped beating again, refusing to restart this time.  She passed away on the day our entire family, including Brad and Jennifer, was planning to leave on vacation.

Jennifer and her mom...

In September of 2010, Jennifer traveled seven hours to North Carolina to have her special cervical cancer surgery.  The surgery was successful.  All cancer was removed.  Although, Jennifer lost her cervix, she was able to retain her ovaries and uterus due to this new procedure.  She had hopes of one day conceiving a child, although a pregnancy would be high risk due to her cervical surgery.

A couple of months after the surgery, Jennifer was rushed to the hospital with high fever and pain in her side.  She was admitted to the hospital and further tests showed an inflamed appendix plus a large abscess in her abdomen.  Abdominal surgery didn’t appear to be a viable option due to so much infection in the abdominal cavity(risk of spreading), so a drain was surgically inserted from Jennifer’s backside.  However, the drain was only left in place a day or so, then removed.  A tragic mistake that would come back to haunt Jennifer.

Jennifer was treated with mega doses of antibiotics and scheduled to see a surgeon at a later date about removal of her appendix.  A few weeks later, Jennifer spoke with a surgeon, who decided to leave her appendix alone.  Another decision that probably played a part in Jennifer’s future outcome.

Brad and Jennifer got married at the end of June, but several other things have happened along the way.  Over the past few months, since the initial flare up of her appendix, Jennifer has made several doctor visits–including  two more trips to the emergency room.  All of these events have  culminated in some distressing news for Jennifer.  On Tuesday of next week, Jennifer is scheduled to have more surgery to eliminate her problems.

Apparently, the infection from Jennifer’s appendix formed an abscess, that has remained inside of her abdominal cavity, and destroyed her right ovary, as well as both of her Fallopian tubes.  All of this damage will have to be surgically removed, along with the appendix–and anything else that the surgeon deems necessary once he gets a look inside.  This was not the outcome we were all hoping for two short years ago.

Life is funny.  We don’t always get what we want.  I try not to question God because I know that all things work together for good, but it doesn’t make some days any easier.  Sometimes life just plain sucks, and there have been plenty of those times for Jennifer during the past two years.

I admire Jennifer for her tenacity and ability to carry on.  Despite all of the things she’s endured during the past two years, she’s managed to plan a wedding, and hold down a nursing job with a grueling schedule.  It’s not unusual for her to pull 13  hour shifts, then make the drive home, which takes nearly 90 minutes.  She spends long days taking care of others, sometimes when she needs taking care of, as well.

I’m seeking your prayers on behalf of Jennifer,  as she prepares to undergo yet another surgery.  Life just seems so unfair sometimes, but we do what we must.

In addition to her surgery next week, Jennifer is dealing with another life-changing situation, as well.  Next month her daddy will be getting re-married.  This will be an adjustment for Jennifer’s entire family, but especially for Jennifer.  Life goes on, but sometimes it’s just difficult.  Jennifer had to pack up her mom’s things  last week.  Not an easy thing for her to do, I am sure.

If you send up prayers for Jennifer, please don’t forget about our son, Brad, too.  Sometimes it’s equally as tough on the spouse of the one who’s going through the trials of life…especially when there are so many.

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Published in: on October 13, 2011 at 8:47 am  Comments (11)  
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11 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Oh gosh, sometimes life is so very hard isn’t it. I have been feeling it here too as my niece is in a very hard fight for her life. Sometimes the weight of it all comes crashing down. I am so thankful for a God who knows our every heartache and our every need. I will certainly be praying for your lovely daughter in law and your son too. Hugs to you today too!

  2. It breaks my heart to know that Jennifer has endured so much these past few years. She has really been strong. I don’t know if I could be that strong. And I know that it’s hard for Brad to have to watch the woman that he loves having to go through so much. The Lord isn’t supposed to put more on us than we can stand, but sometimes we wonder – we’re human after all. I will keep Jennifer and Brad in my prayers, and you too. I’m sure it’s not easy to watch your child have to go through so much. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.

  3. WOW what a story to read! I will pray for you all as well as the doctor’s doing the surgery. It’s hard on you as well to watch your son and daughter-in-law go through all of this.

  4. So So Sorry. It isn’t fair and a lot of time I just don’t understand. If we’re lucky – and with time – we will be there to witness the outcome that sometimes pulls it all together and makes sense of it – I hope for that outcome for your family. The strength to hold on long enough to see it make sense. Regardless though ~ what I’ve read about you and yours ~ you will find some sense in it all ~ you will find some good ~ hold on tight, to yourselves, to each other, and wait.

  5. Thank you so very much for the beautiful birthday card. You are so thoughtful. 😀

  6. Kathy, I surely will be praying for Jennifer and Brad in the days ahead. Those kids could sure use a break.

    My sisters and I packed up Mom’s things in the Fall after she went home. It was not an easy task. One thing that kept going through my mind was that I wished I could smell of them to see if they contained her scent. Not being able to smell is a bummer at times.
    Blessings,
    Mama Bear

  7. Kathy, I am so sorry to hear about Jennifer and her upcoming surgery. My heart aches for her and the fact that her father is getting remarried too. Please tell her that I am praying for her and sending her ((HUGS))
    Here is a big ((HUG)) for you too.

  8. Kathy,
    I know that God is up above looking down on all of you. You all are in his heart. You are all loved.
    Your family is all so strong that you can lean on each other with love and give strength when and where it is needed.
    I will send my prayer requests for all of you, and I will keep you in my heart.

  9. And especially being as newly married as they are, it kind of makes me nervous. I pray that they both with reach out and talk through anything bothering them and not hold back because they are afraid of what the other may think or feel. I pray that they will have that open line of communication and not just between the two of them, but also with God, both when they are together and when they are alone.

  10. I am just so, so sorry for Jennifer … what a difficult time she’s going to be going through right now. I’m praying for her as she faces this surgery and for her as she deals with her dad remarrying. I’m praying, too, for Brad as he stands by her during this difficult time. And I’m praying for you, dear one, as your heart aches for what they’re going through. {{hug}}

  11. Wow. What an incredible family you have. To endure and stay strong through so much adversity is truly inspiring. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Every day.


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